Summer break. Oh summer break, what a confusing name you have! Unless by break you are referring to my broken foot (I may be exaggerating) or my broken spirits, I can assure you there was no break in this girl’s summer.
Summer always starts like this:
Week 1 – You are determined to take the kids to every fun activity available, including but not limited to: beach, zoo, indoor bounce house place, children’s museum, park, and the list goes on and on! So you start by doing just that. You pack those hundreds of snacks, sunscreen, water bottles and off to the zoo you go. The week goes by quickly, and you feel achieved and the kids are happy.
Week 2 – You start to lose some stamina, but nonetheless you decide to cash in that groupon to the bouncy place. I mean, it was “only 32 dollars” for the 4 kids, so what a deal, am I right? What the groupon fails to mention in fine print is how the place is filled with germy kids (yours included) who will ninja kick your 2 year old while their moms are very busy instagramming or something like it (myself included). Also, your kids will fight and beg for money for the video games, and you will cave in at some point so you can resume being miserable in silence. All of that will be followed by a 20 dollar pizza, and exactly 1.5 hours after walking into the door you will leave 67 dollars poorer and with whiny kids who will most definitely not take a nap.
Week 3 – You are considering filing for bankruptcy, since in the last 2 weeks you have spent an average of 60 dollars a day trying to keep your sanity as well as your kids entertained. Your house is destroyed; you haven’t done laundry in 18 days and the only clean thing around is your bank account. The kids are bored of your face, and you are just now realizing that summer break is like a marathon – you gotta go slow and steady. But oh no, you have been taking them out DAILY and now if you don’t come up with some extraordinary crap, they will whine and whine about how boring life is.
Weeks 4 – 10 – Total blur. You don’t remember the last time you ironed your hair. You daydream of a cleaning lady moving in and getting your house to look as if no kids have ever walked inside. You have sold your IRA, cashed in your 401K and sold a kidney to keep the kids from driving you to the bottle. You are still visiting the zoo regularly, but you’ve become a pro at it. You tell your children your wallet is home and you ran out of money for that $6 dollar juice. You realize your double stroller can hold 5 kids. You are a warrior and a survivor!
Weeks 11 and 12 – You are finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. But just like with many traumatic experiences (aka giving birth, blog post coming soon!), your brain will erase what you just went through, and you will be sad about the summer coming to an end. You may consider homeschooling (haha, never!), and shopping for the new school year will be a bitter-sweet experience. You will reminisce about how fast the year has gone by, how quickly the kids are growing up, and how you wish time would just slow down. Then your 3rd kid will pop a squat in the backyard and pee all over her brother’s foot and you will brought back to reality.
School can’t start soon enough! Summer break, deep down, I’ll miss you. My wallet will respectfully disagree.